Not much going on around the home front. I've been so busy I can barely sit still. It truly is amazing what being a stay-at-home mom really means and it sure as hell ain't stayin' at home! I'm always running somewhere or doing something. Even when my intention is to stay put one of these little darlings decides it's time to projectile vomit or choke on their own phlegm and I'm off to the docs. Luckily, we've avoided too many doctor visits but have been running around between two schools, the gym, the grocers, the baker, AND well, no, not the candlestick maker's, but, you get my drift. My wonderful, kind, loving, supportive, and driven husband had a birthday on Monday. Some of you may be wondering what I gave him? *Get your mind outta the gutter*

Well, first I made him rub my back and scratch my head while watching an episode of Lost. Yeah, I know, totally better than an orgasm. Then, I proceeded to decline any and all physical contact to let him know that I WAS NOT happy with him. I told him how much I love him after a mile long list of criticism and anger was unleashed. Gee, I wonder what I'll get on my birthday? Maybe he'll punch me in the eye and introduce me to the daughter he's sired with the lady down the street? Yippee!

Yikes, what massive mood swings I'm experiencing! Every month around this time I map out my future which includes getting a divorce, losing 50 pounds over night, wrapping up all unfinished craft projects, and leaving my children along the side of the road with a note attached saying "Take good care of these kids. Their mother has gone to seek herself and is positively sure that she will hate what she finds and therefore drown herself in booze and literary endeavors of the tangential sort and amass a pile of incomplete artisitic projects just as she did when she stayed where she was but is no longer because she couldn't take it!" I could leave the kids with my husband but I'm quite sure they'd have Laffy Taffy and sausages for dinner every night and wear their pajamas to school. I just couldn't take anymore embarrassment given the fact that everyone would already know I had left them.

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

PLEEEEEEAASE, Does anyone hear me? HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

I've been here for almost eight years now, can someone help me? Why isn't anyone looking at me? I keep screaming and everyone just walks by, occasionally you look at me, but you don't seem to care.

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO???!!!

I've spent the time here talking to myself. Obviously, I'm my own best friend and worst enemy. WOW, at least I can avoid the mirror here. It's such a dark place. I'm glad I don't have to spend too much time worrying about the way I look. I feel so alone. All I have are my thoughts to keep me company. Well, that and all the things I have to do. Waking everyone up, getting people dressed, making meals, doing dishes, doing laundry, driving to and from schools, cleaning spills, brushing teeth, washing little hands, packing lunches, cleaning the toilet, sink, and tub, holding, rocking, singing, cuddling, comforting, reassuring, supporting, and encouraging others. It all sounds rewarding, productive, right? RIGHT???

Hmm, no one hears me? HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! How long should a person scream before they give up? Oh my god, I feel like I can't breathe!!! HELLOOOOOO?! I. CAN'T. BREATHE.

Oh, wait, no nevermind, I'm OK, I'm breathing, I'm OK. WHEW. I'm glad I'm still here.

Wait...HERE. Where is here? What am I doing here? How did I get here? HELLOOOOOO? Can someone wake me up, talk to me, let me know I'm here? Does anyone see me. I'm talking to you!