Most Mondays begin the same. Difficulty waking up, a slightly dissappointed feeling that the weekend is over, shouting directives at the kids after asking nicely for the first hundred times, trying to convince my husband that a 10 minute shower can get you just as clean as a 20 minute shower, and forgetting and remembering what needs to be done in order to get us all out the door as needed. It can be overwhelming especially when you feel that you often times do it alone.

When I got married I knew what I was in for, actually how can one ever know? No, let's say, I knew who it was that I married and that more than likely his behaviors weren't going to change because he's seen me naked a lot. As a matter of fact, I have this theory that the more a man sees you naked, the less compliant he becomes. It's as if he starts to feel like he's TOO much of a man. Is that possible? What the hell does that even mean? Well, this blog isn't about semantics, so, moving on. I knew that his strengths lie in his physical abilities and his emotional stability. When push comes to shove he's a real go-getter. When things get tough he's a ROCK! But when everything is running smoothly and there are only menial tasks to attend to, well, let's just say, all that responsibility rests on me. Now some may think this is just fine because he works, he brings home the bacon. Ok, I'm a firm believer in women and men having different roles. I have a very traditional view in that respect, but that isn't to say that I agree that women should behave like June Cleaver and men get to be Al Bundy with a beer and a warm hand guarding their "junk".

Most of life's tasks ARE menial tasks. The laundry, dishes, cleaning, and child-rearing fall on both parties. In the 50's it didn't always, but in the 50's kids could ride their bikes 8 miles away not returning until dark. Mothers lived in close knit neighborhoods with friends on either side. Schools got out earlier. Kids could even walk to school. Generally men kept business hours, 8 am until 5 pm. There was predictability in a day. This is one reason women could have their children tidied, the floor swept, and a hot meal waiting (according to home economics text books from this era), because they knew that their man would walk in the door precisely at 5:30 pm hungry and tired from a hard days work. She also knew she had the weekend to look forward to. Her husband would be home and they would spend time as a family. Not as it is today where the husband's face is buried so far in a laptop you'd think it had grown tits! Let's not even start about all the things you've tried to tell him as he nods knowingly, while two weeks down the road he's dumbfounded because he states you've never said a word! I know the world has changed and the demands for monetary security are even greater, especially with only one person working. One must also remember that the pressure for children to perform, the pressure to "enrich" a child's life continues to increase, therefore the pressure on the care provider is increasing. The world is growing so far from any kind of value actually resembling family. If by 'family value' one is commenting on the money a family brings in and how much they pay in taxes and outsourcing child care, well, then perhaps that's a correct term. But this country doesn't value families or there would be a greater allotment of time for us to spend together as, um, well, A FAMILY!!!

Men, I adore you. I admire you. You are so strong in ways that women are so weak. But you must open your eyes. We give birth to your offspring. We nurse them from our breasts. Our bodies stretch, grow, and tear to carry your children, into bodies we no longer recognize. Bodies that some of you even expect us to maintain after carrying a 7-10 pound child. Most women, too, have worked full time jobs by the time they have children. They know what it's like and completely understand that the days are difficult. However, most men HAVE NOT spent more than a full day at home with their kids or any kids for that matter. Now, before I have people all huffy please remember that I speak in the most general terms. All situations are different and complex. I think whomever the primary caretaker is needs to be given a bit extra consideration as they are emotionally exhausted and prone to violent outburst. OR...maybe that's just me?! Moving on... Women talk, we tell you what we need and YES, sometimes we can be demanding and overbearing. We will admit this if you just talk to us. Hold us, listen to us even if it hurts. Be there for us for 15 minutes and perhaps you could have an hours peace to answer your emails. We really expect very little. Oh, I know this goes against all that you hear us saying, Right? You hear us complain that you don't do laundry, dishes, play with your children, and clean toilets. What we are really saying is "Please, show me you appreciate me, I don't get benefits, I don't get raises, I don't even get to take a crap with the door shut for Christ's sake!" When you are home, look around, what needs to be done? If the kids need juice and the wife is spooning up potatoes and taking the casserole out of the oven, could you please get them a cup of juice? If I'm making breakfast, and gathering coats, mittens, and boots, couldn't you dress the one child who isn't dressed?

I know I took part in the decision to stay home. I know work sometimes breaks your back too. I know that driving to and from your job is difficult and exhausting. Our jobs are different and we will never know the enumerable things that the other does throughout the day. But husbands, your wives work! We kiss your children, we cook for your children, we play with your children, we discipline your children, we imbue our knowledge upon your children. Do you know why? No, not because they are ours, but, BECAUSE they are YOURS. When we look at them, we see YOU. The love, passion, and tenderness that we feel for you is transferred to your children. In this same respect, any animosity or neglect we feel, as wrong as it may be, is sometimes directed at your children. We are tired too. How productive you are with your days is measured by a time card and a paycheck. We measure our worth with meals OUT of the house, or perhaps, you cooking a meal? We measure our worth by how much time you invest in us and our children together. Please, treat women kindly. I promise we give ounce for ounce what we get.