Three too many

This morning Kelly and Ember were enjoying a cuddle in the rocking chair. After a few minutes Ember began to get wiggly. She proceeded to bury her face in her daddy's belly. After a minute she lifts her head and says,

"Daddy, I smell farts in your belly."

"You smell farts in my belly?!"

"yes, Daddy, and you need to go potty to get the farts outta ya' belly!"

Drawn by Nova, 5 years old.

    When I started this blog an eternity ago, uh, like two weeks ago, I had intended it to be very personal. All the things I couldn't say out loud to friends, family, and the world would be documented here. Now I find myself being so cautious and reserved. I fear that if I write all I don't say it will be a huge indictment on my lucidity. Bob Dylan said it best when he sang "if my thought dreams could be seen, they'd probably put my head in a guillontine." I can be so articulate but never when it counts. In the face of opposition I often draw blanks. I've lost my sense of humor too. I still make jokes constantly but most of them in an attempt to deflect the dire need for serious attendance to matters. I no longer think politics, race, religion, parenting, environment, consumerism, or gender is a laughing matter. How austere can I become before everyone around me starts to despise my company? I get sick of people who walk around in an overanalytical, pensive state, yet I AM becoming that person! The cynical, pessimistic bore. That's not who I want to be. I find that often in my presence conversations come to an abbreviated halt because what began as a nonchalant conversation turns quickly and disturbingly into a long winded oration on any of the previously mentioned topics. When it doesn't, I feel that people often leave our conversations feeling I'm a nitwit. I never cared before I had kids and now everything is a burden. I don't find it funny.

PUFFAPUFF's

Meet the family. I'm not sure what or who they are. Nova drew this couple when he was 6. They are some of my favorite characters.

On Tuesday an illness hit strong and hard. No big deal...until I looked around and realized the world wasn't standing still. Thank God for a mother in law who, in a pinch, took two days off of work and came to my rescue. Not to mention, my wonderful friend, the chicken soup of my soul, Mrs. Heavens, who comforts me and laughs at me when I say I'm going to DIIIII-EEEEEE!!! Tuesday the doctor told me I had pneumonia. I picked up the prescribed antibiotic and came home to rest while my husband took care of the evening routine. I woke up in the middle of the night for a quick toilet tryst. Luckily, I hadn't eaten all day so there wasn't much to let go of. After spending the night struggling to sleep, I decided to call the doctor first thing in the morning. I wanted to make sure vomiting was a symptom of pneumonia or of the antibiotic. I was told that I should drive BACK in to the office and have a Influenza test.

Coffee shops have always been a place of respite for me, delivering the warmth and indulgence that I so rarely get since I'm always caring for others. Lately I've noticed that it seems to also be an office space for those who have no desire to interact but crave the din of human voices. Just not tiny human voices. God help me if I take my children in the coffee shop with me! It's as if there are only a few places you are allowed to go once you have children, those places being:

In honor of the game SO loved by men, and some women, around this great country...

Because I, for the most part, love to deprive my children of modern entertainment like Sponge Bob and anything on PBS, they are often left to their own devices. Here's what you get...

There are A LOT of bloggers out there. I'm not assuming that this blog will ever be read by more than family and friends. However, this being the internet, I'm sure the occasional google gallivanter will happen upon this site. I'm also sure that they will immediately find me to be a sappy, overinvolved parent of toddlers. To insure this postulation, Friday's will be feature days for my son, Nova's, creative endeavors. When Nova was small I knew he was an amazing child. He is a curious mix of intellect, emotion, and an inherent pull towards the spiritual. At times his intellect far surpasses his emotional development and it causes an upheaval within our household.

   Many months back my middle daughter had trouble separating from her Dad. She would cling to him each day before he left for work, often times only letting go while kicking and screaming. I understand this affinity for her father as I, too, often feel like clinging to him and never letting him leave. After prying her from Daddy's arms she would, very sadly, kiss her daddy and bigger brother goodbye before they left for work and school.

   One particularly trying morning, after waving goodbye from the window, we came into my room to look at pictures of her and her daddy, a way to ease the transition. As we sat there mulling over our countless photo albums I said "Oh, it's so sad that Daddy and Nova have left." Ember looked up at me teary eyed. She then said "Daddy took Nova to school dis mawning and then, he will take himselves to work..." and choking back tears, she says "there are pieces of us missing." How articulate for someone with so little life experience. We each have a place in this family that can be filled by no one else. Despite the daily chaos and difficulty, each of us would not be complete without the other!